A collar in BDSM symbolizes a commitment that has often been compared to a wedding ring. This type of commitment comes in other forms, such as a brand, a tattoo, a piercing…. Each symbolizing the pledge of the Dominant to their submissive or slave to protect, love and cherish them. When the submissive/slave accepts the collar, the submissive /slave surrenders to the Dominant and makes a promise to be devoted and loyal. Some collars are made with no clasp to signify the never ending love of the relationship. Other collars have a ring to attach a leash and a place for an engraved tag or pendant to show ownership. The collar is to be worn in the presence of the Dominant at all times. When apart, all the submissive needs to do is touch it to be reminded of the bond they share. Each collaring is a unique symbol of love, respect and a bond between two people who care greatly for each other.
BDSM and building and establishing trust
Obviously, for most relationship vanilla and non vanilla, our sense of trust has been desecrated and, particularly in intimate relationships, we can struggle with establishing trust and a sense of safety. A successful BDSM relationship is built on the concept of trust and on the mantra of “Safety, Consensuality and Mutuality” - and therefore, for survivors, being embroiled in a relationship where these concepts are highly respected can be a positive experience. In a safe and loving BDSM relationship, partners talk about guidelines and rules regarding their sexual play in a way that many people in non-BDSM relationships do not. For example, BDSM partners are more likely (because of the nature of their relationship) to talk about what what the limits of their play are - and to establish a “safe word” which will immediately stop any further play. Survivors can find it therapeutic to be involved in a relationship that has such rigid guidelines as, as long as these guidelines and rules are adhered to, it can lead to an increased sense of trust between partners, as well as an increased sense of trust in themselves and the world around them.